A random conversation

My friend, suddenly, came and talk to me. Asking me about her friend, who has a mental condition. I asked her 'why'. But she only shrugged it off as 'being worried'.

Upon further questioning.


Susanna says:
it's not hwat he want to know, but i want to know, as in i'm worried


Under the twinkling stars. twink twink. says:
ohh..it's okay lah. he noes himself best =)

Susanna says:
really ah! really ah!

Susanna says:
i hope so lor

Under the twinkling stars. twink twink. says:
i duno wad u worrying abt?

Susanna says:
that i dunno. it's harmful. haha erm bc he likes me or he says loves me
for like 10 year liao

Under the twinkling stars. twink twink. says:
wow...everlasting love man...y dun accept him?

Susanna says:
WTH.. dun like means dun like dear weisioong

Susanna says:
i have a feeling he everlastign love part is part of the mental prob?

Susanna says:
i dunno

Under the twinkling stars. twink twink. says:
maybe

(after awhile)

Under the twinkling stars. twink twink. says:
anyway, dun tink so much abt it..
it's nt ur fault, in all sense. It's him hu wants to think of you


Under the twinkling stars. twink twink. says:
dun blame urself hor.

Susanna says:
okies :)

Susanna says:
but this friend said it's my fault

Under the twinkling stars. twink twink. says:
hahah....i kinda knew it
you are always so hard on urself


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


She is forever so hard on herself. zz.

I need some balls

As my previous two posts suggested, i am still very sick, disgusted, upset and pissed by that person. Yesterday, he sent me a flurry of messages, saying how-i-started-it-and-led-him-on, could we be back to friends again, HIM being able to be happy without me.

Stuffs like: "if i were to ask you fetch me to bugis, would you?"
"it's gonna be hard to be happy, without you around"
"Your impression of me will change, but i know you will change in time"

To put it simply, he is my colleague in camp. we became friends as a group, a clique. And yes, he is normal, acted normal at least, even though he doesn't have a gf. We, before, were friends -- just ordinary friends i put it, though he treated me as something else. And it was only recently, that he sprouted out those nonsense.

Seiously WTF. I led him on??? WTF!!!! Furthermore, i got better better friends that i rather gay with lah. WTF can.

However, I must admit, i do not have the capability to talk to him face-on. I don't have the guts, if i would say. He's a total put-off. Those fucking things he said was totally shitloads.

I reaching my threshold, really. More nonsense, and i will really really be berserk. And i believe i will punch him sooner or later, if he goes on like this.

But what i'm doing now is avoiding everyone. Yes, everyone. Everyone is just curious what happened between us. And the reason to avoid everyone is to prevent them from digging something out from me. Which i will gladly respond to. But it's not very right, it's still sort of a betrayal to the GAY (Yes, i still have a tinge of concern for him).

As miserable, i also avoid talking to all my closer buddies in camp, for the identical reason. Now, i can feel the irritability of a fucker who keeps messenging me what he is doing (LIKE I FUCKING CARE!) and saying nonsensical mushy shit.

It's worst than being wooed by a person you never liked. Coz' what's happening is i'm being wooed by a person i never liked and HE'S GAY.

Pseudo-gf please! =.=

I don't mind aaron or cheehow. Errmm, that sounds wrong though. I'm straight, but if i need to choose, i will rather choose them. Fuck.

But omgg..definitely not you. I wan to die. =.=

Someone volunteer to be my pseudo-gf please!!
One enough liao. Really really. seriously seriously.

Else, i will ask my elmo or tinky winky or greenie or spongebob or tweety bird. =.=

Such crap sucks big time. Girls at least not so hard to reject. Can reject peacefully.

Omgg. I can't believe what is happening. Freaking disgusting. Yes, there is someone that like me, as it seemed...

I scorn guys with guys, leered girls with girls. And now, to my horror, i think a guy like me.. What the FUCK.

Please come, gin and whiskey. I rather be drunk.

Single rocks. BUT only to a certain extent.

Two of my recent outings with my friends, ended up with me being the 'lightbulb'.

Is so diaozz can. And i will feel so *ehem* uncomfortable. Okay lah, wasn't that bad last time one, i won't really feel anything -- at the least. But duno why this time i will feel like that.

And recently, i keep on thinking of my friend. DIE! I must stop thinking about her.

So on both occasions, i was sorta left alone. okay lah, can understand though. =.=
Damn, i hate loneliness.

Today is the last day, before the last day of my examinations tomorrow.
And i have not started on the big big topic which is 100% bao jia come out for exam.
Yet, i'm online talking to people i habven't talk for a long long time.

Actually, i miss Qiu Yi. She was involved in a project with me 4yrs ago. And was involved in another project, totally different from the former, with me 3yrs ago. I didn't recgonise her during our first project, and it was only on the second project. During a bus-trip back to camp, that she told me she recgonised me from the prior project.

You know, that was so sweet can! Even now when i reminisce. Coz' i was the organiser and she was one of the participants, but i'm very sure that i'd crossed path with many many other participants, and that they don't remember me, and much less, me remembering them.

So, we got contacts soon after that. We rarely spoke, most of the time being me initiating the conversation. But you see, she's a VERY VERY NICE lady. So worthwhile keeping as a friend.


I just contacted Siying the other day, to get contact with her teacher for my project. I think i really quite kiam pah, coz' she worked with me last year, and i forgotten her name like totally. So, to avoid embarrassment, i dangled the conversation i had with her for quite some time, hoping to have any recollection of her name. But i gave up. It was then, she told me " call me siggy." (her nickname)

But don't mention that to Mr , coz' he knows me as Siying."
LOL.

Okay, there are a few more, but there isn't much to say. You see, friends need to be kept in contact, before they become 'mo shen'. Most of the time, it don't take an effort to just say 'hi' or disturb once in a while. Though sometimes, it's always being me the one that initiates, and it will get boring and a one-sided affair. then such friends are worth to be gone.

Tax sucks. Law sucks. I'm done with both of them liao. The exams were terrible. The questions are so dumb can. Especially the law one. The question was not even in my lecture notes. They asked about Deriviative action and company act (Cap50). So how the fuck am i supposed to do. And lecture notes are the one i have for my classes. And in Singapore, there are so many schools and so many classes with different lecture notes, so i belong to the miniority that doesn't have the question in my notes. Maybe maybe, other lecture notes doesn't have too!! Then all can die together. LoL..better than i die alone. =.=

Lucky limpeh conscientious student, i mean mugger. You know, i mugged the whole thick thick law textbook together with my lecture notes. Those that are used by Law students. Damn cool lah. bring that around, people think you law students. But say so much, even though i read that thick thick sai, i managed to, only, roughly grasp what the damn question asking.


Tax is even more stupid. I understand what they asking about. But i can't answer. And they should come out more skill questions instead of muggish question which just require regurgitation power.


I hope i can pass both the papers man. I seriously do, after 1 month of torture. You know, i keep rejecting everyone who dates me out. Yes, there are lots of people who dates me out.


On a sidenote, there is a shuai examiner in my hall. And, i managed to sneak my car into ACJC and parked inside for 5hrs and not get clamped, coz' the other day, the an neh chased me away. Damn proud for that. And today, there is a CUTE CUTE examiner in my hall. And my hall is beside the swimming pool, when i finish, will have those ACJC zhabors swimming there. o_O


And, belinda say she going to treat me when i finish my exams. IF she gets her pay. She always got lots lots lots of terms and conditions one, and most of the time, romalpa clauses doesn't work.


And, according to 3rd party reliable info, my crush (2.8yrs ago) got a bf. He thinks. =.= Doesn't matter anyway. Does it?


Hope my mood gets better after my exam. Damn moody and lethargic and lonely recently. Not that i'm sad or no friends or whatever, but it's just the feeling. The feeling, ya know? zz