In the army that is.

- Guys usually wear the same set of uniform for the whole week. Unless it’s really dirty, like covered in mud or stinks real bad. To us, air-drying is the new washing.

- Same goes for the socks/singlets/t-shirts.

- That explains the deodorant we won’t forget to buy once we realise it’s going to finish. Now if you don’t see your guy at least getting deodorant, you know what to do. Dump him or get him one; he’ll greatly appreciate at the latter, while you might at the former.

- We rarely procrastinate in the camp. In fact we always try to do whatever we can first, and then rest later.

- We experience serious time-lag. To us, 5 mins outside is too little time to do almost anything. Inside camp, 5 mins we can do a hell lot of stuffs. You won’t believe what we can achieve.

- We bitch a lot. A lot.

- We think about you all the time. Yes, girlfriends, friends’ girlfriends, your girl-friends, your girl-friends’ friends.. All of them.

- We are almost always unfriendly towards one another but we don’t quarrel. We just love making digs at each other without feeling offended. Once we pass the gates of the camp when we book out, some will slowly turn back to their sensitive selves (the guy that you love), while others have a harder time to (the guy you hardly understand now).

- We actually aren’t that faithful. Each and everyone of us has a secret partner - with the rifle. In fact, the rifle is the wife and you’re just the mistress. Accept it. We don’t want it either. We were forced okay, forced!

- Yes, we do think of you, for the umpteenth time.

- We are tidy and untidy at the same time. If we see our desks/bunks/toilets in a mess, we won’t hesitate to do something about it. However, we might not. But eventually we will, and it won’t be more than a day.

- We aren’t really that garang either. We just think that, since there’s no way we can not do it, we just do it with vigour so it can help us get it over and done with - fast.

- If you drool at your guy in his uniform, then you should see him in his beret, the new SBO, and a SAR21. Don’t have to thank me though, for adding to your, erm, fantasies. We’re probably only helping ourselves too. And yes, we know we look good in those. (Actually I look good in anything.)

- Some people can act all tough and cocky outside, but they are actually as timid as a mouse in the army. Everything also yes sir no sir. There are people whom you think are quiet and indecisive, are actually the ones who have leadership skills and a sound mind. Be careful who you think they really are.

- Also, you did not hear wrongly, we do clean the toilets/wipe our windows/sweep the floors ourselves. All we need is a little urging or the daily barrack inspection.

- Once in the army, everyone automatically becomes a food connoisseur. There’s a lot for discussion what we eat inside there. You’ll realise we have many other talents also. Like the next one.

- Who needs to watch the Golden Horse Awards when you can see so many talented actors around. You’ll be amazed how they chao keng, cover their asses and cheat their ways out of sticky situations.

- Don’t judge people in their early-40s by their looks. Some can really run like the wind. I’m fucking serious. And their stamina is good - this is for the older girls (don’t start looking for toyboys just yet). And they happen to have many bonuses a year if you don’t already know (another reason to stay).

- Regulars (people who signed on), usually with more than one year’s experience, actually know a lot of places where they can spend their money on. Places that you don’t want to know, or even know existed. However I can assure you they have a lot of fun there, and I haven’t started to talk about overseas yet. So keep your eyeballs back to their sockets.

Ahem. I’m just being honest.

That’s all for now. I can’t believe I just revealed so much. We’re supposed to be cool and mysterious.

Thanks to rationalneurotic for the lame post. I plagiarised it. YAY.