The Last

I noticed how his hands gesticulated, and only so when he was nervous or when he was talking about affairs of the heart. One of his hands moved across in a straight line, then his 5 fingers made a bursting action “ I guess when there are kinks in a relationship, you an iron them out as you go along, or both of you burst in the end. And for our case, it was the latter.”

“Like the tragic perfect relationship?” I asked. Nodding and snapping his fingers, “ Yes, when I met her I knew right away that we had an instant connection , she was me, and I , her. That did scare me at times. After a few dates she was staying over already, and shortly after, she met my family. I guess we fell for each other too soon and failed to see the differences, until later. Differences that I would be willing to compromise for, as this is what makes a relationship; but some I could not put a reason to. ”

And so, it ended between them. Reasons to which each could not comprehend, words that had been kept in denial finally unleashed, irreconcilable differences and to each his own. But they both knew.

******
Upon parting, he asked if he could send her home, one last time. She agreed.

As they were walking home, he stopped by the florist, and bought her flowers.
“I am sorry I have never bought you flowers when I was your boyfriend.” he said as he passed the bouquet to her. They walked home hand in hand like the conversation they had before never happened.

As he ran upstairs of his home to fetch some things he got her from a recent trip. She asked how much it was, offering to pay, even if it did not cost much. Naturally, he refused.

As she sat in the cab, one leg in the cab and the other hanging outside, he asked of one last kiss from her. They kissed one last time on the lips, before he closed the door of the cab.

A while later, he sent her a message. “There is no need to pay me back any token sum for the sandals I got for you, because you have already walked away.”

As he turned around to look back, deniably defiant, he could only see her back turned against his, already on her path to self journey.

I was walking into to biology lab, was suaned by my friends for being a wonderful suaner.

Not very happy.

It was then i saw my classmate walking to the lab.
She was a nice girl. She gave me her World of Warcraft trial DVD which will explode in 7days. She treated me like einstein--though i don't look like one--lending my tutorials for reference frequently.

She injured her leg after playing squash. She was hobbling towards the lab.

"Hey bai kah!"

*slaps*

"Bai kah hit me." *laughs from the room*

*slaps*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My biology teacher buey song me i think. Last week, after labwork ended, i was walking towards the door.

"Weisiong, help me close windows."

*closed the windows* Buey song liao, can ask other people ma, why call me when i already going to step out of the lab.

As i approached the door, "siong, windows never lock leh. Later got bird come in how."

"neh de. Birds also not robbers, the most they drink your sucrose solutions loh." Reluctantly, dragged myself to lock the windows.

"Siong, your table never clean. Siong come clean."

Goddammit "Wah, you picking on me hoh. Purposely de. Don't think you teacher den like that bully me hoh."

She grinned. So idiotic, my friends outside were laughing at me. Then, i bore the grudge with me till thursday, when i was buying food in the canteen when she came along. I jostled myself into the queue infront of her.

"Oi, don't cut queue leh."

"

Let's talk about school this time round. Today is parents' day in my college, but my CT teacher did not make it compulsory to meet my parents. I didn't do badly in my mid-yrs!

It's already the fifth week of term 4, and school is boring as usual. Frankly, my class is split into two groups: a 'guai' group and the 'naughty' group as for the guys. Of course, being a guai guy myself, i belonged to the guai clique. But slowly, i realised, i'm not so guai as them after all.

I was in library today revising my maths, when a cute black-shirt girl came to my table.

"Can i turn on the aircon?" She asked me. Apparrently, the school is trying to save on electrical bills. The whole library is stiff-hot.

"On loh, library not mine." I answered nonchalently, acting cool.

Okay, i know i not cool. I take back my words. She turned it on, but it just don't work.

"Aircon don't like you." I teased.

"Damn the aircon. Damn the library. damn the shelves and the books." She hissed while walking away.

I let out a soft laughter. Never knew there are such interesting students in my school. They rocks, they brightened my day.

Getting melancholic these days.

"This is the third time i'm reminding you all to hand in your PW project file. What you all want? 'F' for PW? Then you can drop maths, say byebye to Chem, and off you go to SembCorp to clear rubbish."

We are supposed to hand in our PW files to our tutor by the beginning of the week. Perhaps due to ignorance, act blurr-ness, heck care-ness, all except one group did not hand up the damn file.

And now, it was our Form Teacher aka Civics tutor that chased us for the project and not the Supervising Tutor for PW.

"By tomorrow, i don' see your file on his table, prepare for Warning Letter."

Yes, it was serious case. He sounded serious. All the time he was talking, i was behind him smiling and looking around. He turned around. I think he saw my teeth, happily giggling away. Afterwhich, i tried to remain remorseful and rependent.

Frankly, i liked my CT. He never raise his voice, apart from he doesn't have a loud booming voice, i think he has a kind heart. He cracked ultra lame jokes too.

eg. "Nice tie." I said.
"Damn. Stop staring at my chest. You cheeky ass."
"Nah. I just wanted to lend your pen", i reached forward to take it.
"Argh, u sick. You want to touch my chest."

"Off the air-con." Our class girls chorused.
"Don't want. Later so hot i faint."
"I think we rather you faint." One of the 'jiao' girls replied.
*Whisper to the guys* "Your class girls are horny. They want do CPR on me."

Okay, coming back.

I thought the Project File need to include prelimary reports, surveys, primary findings, Preliminary ideas, Evaluation of materials. Then, i realised the cocked-head-bugger tutor just wanted us to put our Group Project Proposal, which we did hell ago, into the damn big fucking file and hand up to him.

He think through his ass. His ass lack nutrients.

Apparently, the group that handed up the project file knew the GPP is the only document required.

Nabei. Don't know how to share meh. Kan jiao. Make me miss my lunch bcoz' of the scolding.

Anyway, my file also haven't buy.

Letter come loh, i not scared.

Hi, it's friday again. Life as usual. I got back all my results.

General Paper 25/50 (D)
Chinese 84+1/170 (D)
Maths 79.5/100 (A)
Chemistry 65/100 (B)
Physics 69/100 (B)
Biology 50/100 (D)

And with such sucky grades, i topped my class. Wahaha...

Sometimes, i do have some stuffs to pour out here. But knowing blogosphere is a place where no secrets could be kept, thus i won't reveal my sorrows...=)

It was a lunch treat. A gathering between both of us, it's been some time since we last met. So, upon dismissal from school--i skipped my early lunch--to meet him for a late lunch cum dinner.

Thomson pizza hut. I reached my venue earlier than expected, credits for me for rushing and leaving school fast. he came, yet with another guy. A guy whom i detest.

"You two should get along. The way you act infront of him is utmost unpleasant. Do you think he can't feel it?"
It was a lecture by him. He called me up a few days ago and whack me on that. I argued of course; in due respect, saying that i don't have to be nice to someone so sucky since i'm not even his friend nor work / colleaugue mates. But, in the end, being already in a shitified mood earlier on, i let him have his say.

Now, i had to pay back for it. I had to act hypocrite to make him happy. It was a stake i had to play. If i made a fuss, both of them will sense it, and the whole lunch will just go wrong.

Damn it, a fruitful lunch gone.

I tried communicating with both parties. Conversation seldom involved all three parties, but rather both of them. Talking about irrelevent stuffs. And with the topics that concerned me, i regard them as insensitive.

Fuck. They talked about topics i don't ever want to hear about. Volatile topics that could turn the table the next moment. Damn, you are not even my close friend. Why talk such things?

My blood boiling. I wished time passed faster and get my ass out of this place.

"You don't mind me inviting him without your permission right?"

I hesitated. Should i continue acting hypocritical or be frank. It wasn't the first time he's playing me out.

"Fuck you." I breathed. Hesitated. "Nope, don't mind."

I was startled my own answer. But you see, the propability of him telling the other party immediately he was not welcomed is rather high.

"Good. Take this time to trash out your differences."

Do you think i would play to cow music? An argument would erupt more likely.

So, i ate quickly. Cleared my plate. Stared at them. Making them uneasy. It's the waiter's tactical move to ask a table of guest to clear the table. However, they did not finish everything as fast as i wish. 20minutes to finish their main course, and 10minutes to finish the side dish. A gruelling half an hour!

I came in for the kill. I took the cheque and examining the bill. It was a cue used by people in America to signal to the waiter that they are in distress, and the waiter would try his/her best to help clear the table. But too bad, American waiters work for tips, while Singaporeans waiters don't.

No waiters came. As expected. Both my tricks don't work out well. Damn, i cursed beneath my breath. Right, i played around with my soup, making some noise. And this time, help came. A waiter, came, and cleared the table. Bit by bit, as what i wanted, so as to create silence and uneasiness among everyone.

Soon, we left. The waiter settled our bill, and winked at me. Perhaps he do know those signals after all. Yes, great job for you, waiter! But i still can't get over the feeling of being 'cheated'.

It hurts big time,

Subject: News - Dinosaurs had respiratory system like birds

Dinosaurs had respiratory system like birds -study

Reuters
July 13, 2005

Dinosaurs may have been fierce predators but they had a respiratory
system similar to modern birds such as the sparrow, scientists said
Wednesday.

Ancient beasts such as the mighty Tyrannosaurus rex were thought to
have had lungs similar to crocodiles but researchers in the United
States have discovered the creatures had more in common with birds
than reptiles when it came to breathing.

"The pulmonary system of meat-eating dinosaurs such as T.rex in fact
shares many structural similarities with that of modern birds, which
from an engineering point of view, may possess the most efficient
respiratory system of any living vertebrate inhabiting the land or
sky," said Leon Claessens, of Harvard University in Massachusetts.

Claessens and Patrick O'Connor, of Ohio University's College of
Osteopathic Medicine, compared dinosaur bones in museums in the United
States, Germany and England with modern birds. They looked at how the
skeleton related to the air system in areas such as the neck and chest.

The researchers found that dinosaurs had a respiratory system with the
potential to support elevated rates of metabolism. Although it is not
identical to birds, O'Connor said it is nothing like the crocodile
system.

"What was once formally considered unique to birds was present in some
form in the ancestors of birds," he added in a statement.

The study, reported in the science journal Nature, is the latest to
show similarities between dinosaurs and birds. Recent research
suggests some dinosaurs may have had feathers and incubated their eggs.

Claessens and O'Connor said their research does not mean dinosaurs
were habitually warm-blooded. They believe the creatures were
somewhere between what scientists describe as warm and cold blooded
animals.

Copyright © 2005 Reuters Limited.


Subject: News - Man gets prison term for killing walruses

Man gets prison term for killing walruses

Associated Press
Wednesday, July 13, 2005

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) -- An Alaska Native was sentenced to a harsh
seven years in federal prison for killing six walruses, removing the
heads to sell the ivory and sinking the carcasses.

Herman A. Oyagak was on probation for felony assault when he
participated in what prosecutors declared a wasteful killing of
walruses in 2003. That, plus his criminal history, led to the harsh
sentence, Assistant U.S. Attorney James Goeke said Tuesday.

Under federal law, Alaska Natives are allowed to hunt walruses for
subsistence but they must use a substantial portion of the animal. In
this case, the walruses were being killed for the ivory and bodies
were abandoned, Goeke said.

A co-defendant in the case, Samuel Akpik, also of Barrow, previously
was sentenced to two months in federal prison, two months of home
confinement and a $500 fine.

Frequently, such illegal items end up at Anchorage gift shops, said
Steve Oberholtzer, assistant special agent in charge of the U.S. Fish
and Wildlife Service in Alaska. A bull walrus head mount -- just the
tusks and nose plate mounted on a piece of wood -- can sell for $3,000
or more, he said.

Oberholtzer said the arrests in the walrus killings came from
information supplied by outraged villagers.

Copyright 2005 The Associated Press.

FRIDAY, July 1 (HealthDay News) -- Upsetting a long-held theory, Cornell University scientists say the mind works in a continuous, dynamic process, not in a series of distinct stages like a computer.

Researchers tracked the computer mouse movements of 42 student volunteers given verbal instructions to click on pictures of different subjects on the computer screen. When the students were given a word such as "candle" and shown two pictures with names that didn't sound alike, such as candle and jacket, their computer mouse trajectories were straight and went directly to the candle.

When the students heard the word "candle" and were given two pictures of items that sounded similar, such as candle and candy, their computer mouse trajectories were much more curved and they were slower to click on the correct picture.

This indicates that the students started processing the word before the entire word was spoken, suggesting that language comprehension is a continuous process, the researchers said.

"For decades, the cognitive and neural sciences have treated mental processes as though they involved passing discrete packets of information in a strictly feed-forward fashion from one cognitive module to the next or in a string of individuated binary symbols -- like a digital computer," study author Michael Spivey, a psycholinguist and associate professor of psychology, said in a prepared statement.

"More recently, however, a growing number of studies, such as ours, support dynamical-systems approaches to the mind. In this model, perception and cognition are mathematically described as a continuous trajectory," he said. The result is a more interactive, organic flow of information "back and forth to produce nonlinear, self-organized, emergent properties -- like a biological organism," Spivey said.

Feeling miserable.

Today is a big big day. The finally long-awaited Beatty combined Scouts and Guides Campfire. I went yesterday and today to see the preparations and of course, 'meddle' abit here and there.

Yesterday was still alright. No him1 and him2. Just me and the scouts. Hearty hearty chats. They do love me alot; they told me everything, whined about everything unpleasant, or recent spates of happenings...

Went home at 6pm, when i felt quite bored. Him1 was around. He started to command everyone here and there. They did some strange things; like puting the chairs and setting up the backstage which shouuld be only DONE on the day itself. Furthermore, heaven looked like it's gonna RAIN!! So, i advised them. But to no avail. Joan was there kpkb, with huimin at the side not stopping her craziness.

Felt out of place, i left.

Came today at 4.30pm. I promised our new scout teacher-in-charge to come early. I seriously didn't know why i accepted that. Sympathy? Perhaps..I saaw his tired and careworn eyes, fuming about almost everything. I reckon i could make myself useful, somehow.

Him2 was there. Mingled around with the scouts. The bridge was done, also known as the important campfire gateway. I was happy, in fact delirious. It was, for once, scouts did a full structure. It consisted 4 tripods, with a middle suspension part, which was supported by a long nylon rope. Faizal, my Serangoon Scout leader, jumped on it and it didn't fall. I thought he will break a leg or two.

"Hey, are you invited to the campfire?" Him2 asked when he saw me.

"Yes. Ashok called me."

"Really? I don't remember..." him2 walked off.

Don't want me to be around? Fine. But i was really invited. REALLY! I made it a point that they invited me CORDIALLY before i turn up for the campfire. Damn the politics behind it, but i reckon it was necessary.

I stood there still. Resumed talking to the scouts. A joke? Yes, i treated it like a joke. Rethinking, i would have just left.

I remembered a conversation i had with my friend.

FlyNdance says:
my classmate sae, i'm e onli guy she can joke wif
FlyNdance says:
n i will jiaowei back
[Slacker says:
aint tt gd?
FlyNdance says:
perhaps...

But such things can't joke one right? Then, after that during the campfire, Mr Koh was telling me about the flaws of the campfire and how to improve and stuffs. him1 came.

"I think you should be telling me all these, and not him." He claimed.

So hurting. So direct. Just like a sword stabbing straight into a straight open wound. Pain; yet i stood there. Koh continued talking. I stooped backwards. What, i should do was to get away. Give back some attitude at least.

I questioned myself? What happened to me? Why i stood there still? Suffering thorough humiliation.

I felt alone almost the whole time in the campfire. Setting me in retrospective mood. Why the ex-guides could be together and chatting happily away, while i'm down there alone. My batch? No. Not so close.

I started thinking...why...but i knew i knew the answer all along. It lies with power. Power come with great responsibility and turbulances. Friendships, too, are broken coz' of conflicts in work. But i realised, some friendships are better to be broken than kept, while some are to be kept forever, till tangent 90degrees hit infiniti...

Science Post (Post mid-yr syndrome) aka PMS

sine sine cosine pi,
3.14159
avogadro, LCP
6.02 ten two three
v squared u squared 2 a s
science fac, science fac kick your ass! (Cheer)


To le chatelier, sorry, havent quite figured whats your principle about..
To pythagoras, thank you so much, i now know how to take short cuts..
To boyle and charles, thanks for giving me so much pressure.
To newton, i finally know why the apple fell on your head....
Thanks to bronsted and lewis, thank you for telling me that an acid is a proton donor and a base is a proton acceptor, useless bits of information like this sure makes my day...
Thank you one and all. Your legacy sure lives on, for if not i wound be a much free-er person, with nothing to do but stone around. I am eternally grateful to all your contibutions to mankind, you make this world a much more complicated place to live in. You inspire others to speak of free energy, to create something out of nothing, to test nuclear bombs, even grow stuff on agar. Thanks alot man!

I went to Holland Village to have lunch. We went to a steakhouse. Quiet, exquisite design. Two Bohemians, i reckon, sat at the other end of the restaurant. While a company of girls dined at the only large table in the middle of the small, classy restaurant.

In such posh restaurant, normally food go with wine, but too bad i'm underage. On every table, there would be a wine bottle, and the price label read "49 +++ per bottle".

So there was this young waitress, donned in a red apron, appraoched us to take our order. Her hair was a dyed brown, long and laid down. Her denim was faded but suited perfectly on her slender body. Her voice was exceptionally sweet. She had a ring; A approximate age guess? Around 26 or younger. Nevertheless, a sexy girl.

We enjoyed our lunch. We had fish n' chips. Served with two loaves of bread. Indeed, the meal was perfect. We idled and talked for a while, updating each other on our life. He bought a new car recently, an Europian Car Hiat.

We left.

I saw her at the bus-stop. Seemed like her shift ended. She gave me a wink, a cheerful smile. Away from her waitress' wear, she looked different. She looked a little careworn, but i'm still mesmerised by her youthfulness and seemingly happy nature. Clad in jeans and purple top, she's just one of the urban beauty in Singapore.

If i met her on the road, i would never know she's a waiter. There goes the job discrimination.

I wanted to say bye, before i left, but she went off first. Her boyfriend was there. Another cute guy on the street, donning his waiter's suit.

"Happy girl. Happy guy. both waiters." I thought.

So what the hell are we mugging so hard for? The main aim of life is to be happy. Enjoy. Quit school and go be waiters!

Yesterday was youth day. No clouds. Sun hanging high. Perfect day for a morning swim.

And so i went to the pool. I thought, being youth day, there would be many chio bus lying down beside the pool to get tanned. Unfortunately, there was none.

I started swimming, laps after laps. Then came this girl, perhaps a little older than me or same age, in her two-piece swimsuit, splashed into the pool just beside me. I continued swimming, after glancing at her for a second. Couldn't look too long, or else people will think i pervert.

Then, she started swimming, just about the same time i went on to the next lap. (Swimmer A and swimmer B began at the same time) I hate free style, though it being faster, it's considered to be more tiring. Quite-a-fast-frog-style swimmer i am, but towards the end of the lap, the girl overtook me.

I was shocked. "Wow, she's fast." I thought.

I began my next lap. She too. This time, she changed to frog-style. This time, i increased my speed a little, not wanting to lose to the girl anymore. I decided not to glance to the right or left. God-damn-it, i came to swim. Not to compete! But the urge of not losing to her was too strong.

Then, the speed, the distance i covered seemed to be so slow. Towards the end, i could feel she was just beside me. I closed my eyes, not wanting to know the final result.

I delivered a hard kick and a hard push.

I reached for the pool side.

I don't know what happened to my disobidient eyes--we reached at the same time.

She turned to look at me. Quick reflex. I dunked myself into the water, unable to suffer the humiliation of being at par with a girl.

I saaw her smile. A warm yet playful smile. She rested by the side for a while, perhaps waiting for me to come out. I could feel her eyes on me.

A minute passed. I need Oxygen! I felt quite dumb underwater though; people might mistaken me peeping at girls down in the water. "Okay, that's it." I told myself.

I resurfaced. She smiled again, then moved effortlessly with astonishingly speed towards the other side of the pool. I reckon she understood my humiliation.

After a few more laps, we met again at the poolside. Resting. She turned and smiled at me. Frankly, i did not know how to respond. It would be dumb for me to reply a silly grin. Nodding my head would increase my embarrassment.

"Fast", i replied with a faint smile.

We enjoyed the sun and the sparkling water for a few minutes. The birds chirping in the early morning. The wave created streaks of yellows that passed through the water, our legs, our bodies. Wind rustled the leaves of the old trees behind the pool. Leaves falling into the water, creating small little ripples here and there. It was a serene sight.

"Not swimming?" She winked.

"Waiting for you to go first." I answered mischieveously.

"See you!" She went off with butterfly.

I followed closely behind, but never to catch up.