I reckon i need to post something...
I think i will go public soon...get more hits and try something new...

I was walking the aisle of Holland Village last Friday evening. I was early; an hour and a half earlier before my meeting starts. The fault all goes to Aaron Lim Zhe Yu, we were watching Initial D in the afternoon at Bugis Shaw Cinema, and after the SHORT movie, he's a guy who could not idle much, decided to go back early to rest first before attending a BBQ. Ohh, did i mention that i was celebrating his birthday??

Yes, it was his birthday; i wanted to treat him V8, but he, being a nice chap, decided on PastaMania. PastaMania was, in the sense, good coz' it was not as crowded as V8 and the food nice! But most importantly, tt won't cost a hole in my pocket. He's dumb!!! On my birthday, i gotta choose the place right, Aaron?

So, back to my story on Holland Village, upon early arrival, i decided to tour around the area, familiarise with the surroundings as i reckon they will hold non-official informal meetings around this area.

From Buona Vista MRT station, i alighted. I walked the usual route to Block 40, the usual place we had dinner. Then, i drifted into Holland Drive--only to find shops and hawker centres, and nothing else. Quiet, a typical noon in a residential area.

Then, i wondered into a short road, criss-crossed between household estates, and soon i reached some swimming complex. I was a scout, i knew where i was going; if i keep left, i will reach Holland V.

I turned left, reached road, crossed road. Saw drain, crossed drain. Saw bus terminal, crossed bus terminal. Then, guess what. I saw MRT! Buona Vista MRT. Crap, i walked one big round ending up at the same starting point. As physics student will put it, displacement = 0.

Damn I walked the same direction again. The sun was scourching hot. I can't believe i was lost.

"Auntie, how to go to Holland V ar?" I said in fluent Hokkien (can't remember) as if i graduated from National University for the Hokkiens (NUH).

"key siao ar, gong jiao wei(it wasn't said, i guessed it's wad she was thinking.) Here loh, Holland V is here loh." She was quite pissed, i reckon..She was perspiring. A tired auntie is a angry auntie. Reason being the molecules in her body starts to absorb the surrounding heat and thus the molecules vibrate faster, resulting her whole body (if considered as a system) to contain more energy and heat, thus it increases the temperament. (proven!)

She pointed to the signboard on the road.

"That's Holland Drive lah. You think i 'chair meh' meh" I was joking with her, thought could lighten her facial expression.

She looked real pissed now. "Dio loh. Here Holland V loh. (keep pointing to the sign) kua kua lah! gia gia lah! ke chuay lah!"

"Gam xia."

Okay, i knew it was the end of the conversation. I found no point arguing with a illeterate english speaker. Think got one "Holland" then think she correct, maybe she go chinatown then thought she in China. Furthermore, i was so friendly, apart from that 'joke', and the dark face she gave me. Unforgettable. The world shouldn't have been filled with such people. They make life so unfriendly.

Well, then i approached a guy with a dog. Crazy man bringing a dog to jog in the sweltering heat. Another dumbass.

"Well, Sir, could i know the way to Holland Village?" I asked with extreme politeness, after experiencing the harrowing experience with the 'chao' auntie.

"Walk straight, turn right." He said it without hesistation, in perfect slang. And then ran off with his dog.

Good, i thought. I trust this man. A straight answer. He was dead sure about his direction. Of course, what could i expect from someone who's residing here.

I walked straight, turned right. Hit coffeshop. Walk further down; hit drain. Damn

I gonna slaughter his ass. He was so dead sure that Holland Village is a coffeeshop or long kang. Fuming with anger, i asked for directions once again.

"Miss, holland village where ar?"

"Walk back, turn left." Her smile was mesmerising. But i couldn't enjoy it. WAlk back, turn left means i land up where i started with, where i asked the auntie. Displacement = 0.

I double-checked. She was dead sure. I recce around that area, and found my meeting place. I'd wronged the auntie. No wonder she was pissed.

I shouldn't have made such a judgement. My mixed feelings stayed with me through the rest of the day.

Moral of the story: When you are lost, don't ask a man with a dog. Ask an auntie! Make sure you contradicts her; and when she shows you her annoyed face, you know you got the directions right.

Hmm..this post is a request...

I need to thank dearest jiejie for helping me complete my online assignment on sigma notation. She got 14/20 for me. Well, frankly, i at first thought with her sadistic nature, she would try to get zero for me. But she didn't. She got 14 for me! Very high liao lah, can't expect much from someone so dumb...

So hmm...Thank you!

Noctilucent clouds (NLCs)



Noctilucent clouds (NLCs) are a mystery. They hover near the edge of space, far above ordinary clouds. Some researchers believe they're seeded by space dust. Others say they're a sign of global warming. Whatever they are, they're beautiful, and this week's sightings in Europe mark the beginning of the 2005 noctilucent cloud season. Northern summer is the best time to spot them...

I'm leaving liao...be back only on Tuesday. If someone is kind enough, please help me collect newspaper from my door for the next two days, to prevent jokers who loves to steal newspaper.

My last post wasn't nice? Sob sob...

I'd been running back and forth from RMBR. Tired and shagged. My coastal cleanup meeting was alrite, though my co-partners pang-sehed me--they didn't turn up for the meeting.

I went for a dinner after the long meeting which lasted for two hours. We talked about lots of stuffs, everyone was good at telling stories, so we jiang gu shi till around 11.45pm at Holland V. It's crap lah, but we enjoyed listening to stories and telling stories. I'm so glad to find people who can jiang gu shi with me!

Lost track of time wasn't fun. I wanted to rush all the way to Buona Vista MRT to catch the 'Last Train'. I walked along the road, then i heard a loud and rumbling noise. Yes, it was the train! And the train swished past; the train gone; i'm also gone (stranded).

And then there was 'she', she rocks man. We decided to share a cab, as we stayed in the central area. She's a trainee teacher, and she would be teaching in JC next term. She needed quite abit of advice on the way that JC peeps like the lectures to be. We chatted all the way to her house.

Perhaps i need to mention, it's around midnite when we reached her house. Being a nice guy, i offered to walk her up, but she declined. So well, not that i'm not gentlemanly. Must get this right...

"Uncle, from here to Bishan, how much does it cost?"

"hmm...it's midnite now, with every ten cent, there will be another five cent surcharge. With an additional mile travelled, it will cost 15cents instead of 10cents..." And he rattles on, the metre jumping.

She gave me a $10 dollar note.

"I doubt this metre will reach $20.." I felt bad for her to pay more than the equal amount. I wanted to return her $5 bucks, but i got no small change.

"Treat me drinks some other times then...you will definitely see me real soon."

She left.

Silence in the taxi.

"It's quite late, you should have brought her up, you know? You are a guy leh..."

I was taken aback. I would blame it on his rotten vision, for not seeing i'm such a young and cute and innocent boy. Grr..

So there was another disturbing silence.

"Say, how long liao? You look quite young eh."

"Uncle, mai siao. I'm so young leh. She so old...she like five years older than me. Even i want, then she feed me for 5 years meh." The last part was meant as a joke.

I drifted the topic; the taxi driver talked about his kids being in Austrailia and Europe and not coming back to visit him.

It was a nice trip home albeit my tiredness.

I felt bad yet sweet. Bad coz' i should be more gentlemanly and insisted to send her home. And i should also reject her 10bucks and so not to be suaned by the taxi driver later on.
But, perhaps it's coz of my 'not-so-gentlemanly' ness, i knew i was mistaken for being a bf of the girl. The feeling was sweet..but only for a while...

I was guiding a group of Nanyang Girls' high girls and some other schools affiliations at museum yesterday, together with Chee Kee, Wei Song and Gwynne. The girls were very 'on', and inquisitive.

I was with Chee Kee while the other two guided alone.

I was impressed by this girl who stayed around after the rest were dismissed to explore the exhibits. She had good general knowledge, she answered some of my questions i posed to the group.

And before i forgot, she was a facilitator. A very good leader that could manage her group well. We were already starting our tour of the museum while the rest of the groups were still gathering their members.

Upon dismissal, she went straight to the shelf containing the colugo / flying lemur. As there was not enough time to explain most exhibits, i had not told the group the story of the flying lemur. And now here's my chance!

I approached her with the best smile on my face, "Any help i could offer?"

She was still engrossed in those exhibits...

"Good, a good audience this time!" I muttered to myself, grinning.

"Would you like me to tell you a story........." I trailed off.

"The snakes are lovely!" She said, pointing to the snake exhibits below the colugo.

I was momentarily shocked. "Sorry? I didn't catch you."

"Hmm..never mind, how did you guys catch these snakes?"

"Erm..erm.." I seriously didn't know what to say at that moment. I couldn't hide my disgust.

For goodness sake! A girl, as sweet as clever, has an interest in snakes?!?! I couldn't accept the fact. Snake just grossed me out. Eww! My appreciation and admiration for her just vapourised.

I tried my best to smile still. I hated snakes. I saw snakes in mangroves, eaten eels, hacked snakes in sarimbun, encounters with python in nature reserves...These slimy creatures are hideous, irky, and normally they make your skin crawls (for girls, most probably).

"Okay." I calm myself down. "What do you want to know about snakes?"

Chee Kee came; did i ever mentioned of his cute-ness? He's so cute that i no longer felt disgusted to that girl.

No; she couldn't like snakes.

"Once, i was in the toilet in camp, shitting. And came this snake, it was black, around 1metres long. I had an axe by my side, as i just returned from chopping firewood. I reckon it won't do me any harm if i brought it with me to the toilet."

She listened attentively.

"Yes, on first impulse, i hacked the snake! As you know, snakes have no backbones, but the blood was obvious, together with sticky mucus that glued to my axe."

A little exaggeration and so resulted in a little disgust on both faces.

"Yet, both parts of the snake were still wringgling on the floor. I shit no more! I hacked and hacked and hacked! More pieces, rather more pieces wringgling in the small cubicle. It freaked me out."

Chee Kee was bewildered. He's been through army, and no such holy crap happened to him. Yes, finally the girl's face turned pale purple.

The climax of my story. "Last resort," I breathed "I pumped the flat top of my hammer on the head of the snake, 'squeeshhh' (sickening sound effect) it was flattened, movements from the part that was connected to the head came to a halt. And then slowly, the rest of the snake's body stopped moving."

We were quiet for a moment.

I broke the silence. "I think your teacher is waiting for you."

She left.

"Gee whiz. Is that story real?" Chen Kee asked.

"Why?" I winked. "Of course not!"

"You grossed me out..." He muttered.

"I wanted to! Of all things in the world...such a lovely girl, she likes snakes!!" I exclaimed.

"You sicko!"

"But..." He smiled to me as we were walking to the office reporting job done. "you did the right thing."

I'm a mugger...i'm been mugging...
mug...mug...mug...

I was having dinner in this particular restaurant that is situated by the beach. Wonderful ambience. Wonderful service.

Then came this couple, a middle-aged pot-bellied caucasian, and an early 30s chinese woman. She was indeed gorgeous. I think the guy is a little too old and ugly for the girl.

But obviously he's rich. He ordered a Sauvignon Blanc, to accompany his sea bass with artichokes and olive oil. The girl ordered deep marinated roast cod and deep-fried baby octopus.

I came to realise it was the old man's birthday.

He smoked. In between puffs, he said "Thanks for tonight."

The clanging of glass, followed by a short kiss on the woman's forehead.

Perhaps coz' i'm too engrossed in my own food and enjoying the beautiful sunset, i did not notice the build up in tension over at that table.

"What a mess you'd done!" The young woman exclaimed.

The caucasian shirt was peppered with bacon and artichokes, wet with his Sauvignon Blanc wine.

"Sorry, i'd..." The young amateur waiter rushed off to fetch a cloth.

The young woman seemed displeased and uneasy. Eyes were on her; either to grasp what was happening, or taking the mere chance to appreciate her beautiful tanned body.

The 'padawan' waiter came back. Offered the old man with a clean cloth, and started clearing up the toppled wine glasses and splattered food.

The caucasian was expressionless, too shocked perhaps, picking pieces of bacon and fish 'debris' off his shirt.

"His shirt must have cost quite a small bomb. Perhaps he bought it back in the states." I heard someone said on the table opposite mine.

The waiter was nervous; he bowed and opologised profusely. Even the manager came out to observe this commotion.

The caucasian stared straight at the waiter. Yet, he said gently "take it easy, my boy. Clear the mess first." and gave the young waiter a pat on the back.

He then walked to the bathroom. Everyone else present expected a storm to brew, yet the sea was ever so calm.

The manager opologised to the young woman, then again to the caucasian aafter he came back from the bathroom.

The couple went off abruptly.

"Demand compensation..." The woman nudged him as they walked out.

"No dear, it was just an accident. No one's fault..."

"You dumb-ass" She shook off her hand from his and walked off.