Quote of the day:
"Do you watch the waves roll in and the look out far beyond them, where the water seems to touch the sky; and realise that the vast expanse before your eyes is only a small corner of all there really is....?"

Plagiarised again from someone i don't know. =P

A River Runs

We started off as separate
Drops of trickleflow
Streams in silent sojourns
With no place to go

Then we came together
As Thirty streams unite
As one we soon became
A river full of might

The river forges forward
Into unchartered lands
But its mighty prowess
Breaks both soil and sand

It bears the weight of boulders
And wear them down to dust
Till across the unknown plains
Lay a charted course at last

With it the river reaches out
And gives life to the land
And fills the air with spirited roars
A song that cannot end

But a river's course is always long
And so very rough
Sometimes it takes a plunging fall
Sometimes a narrow path

And sometimes the river meets a rock
And is forced to split apart
Then a wayward stream will wander away
A strange new journey to start

But though the river and the stream
together may seldom be
No matter what path they take, tis sure
They'll end up in the same big sea

And tis the sea where we end our roads
And empty all our soul
An endless, depthless well that stands testimony
To the River's eternal flow

Saw this on a blog, written by the author's friend. It's so wonderfully written....So nice!

NAKED ONION

I was an onion before Christ set me free.
Layers upon layers of iniquity.
An ugly old onion whose fragrance was strong;
That my Jesus bought and loved all along.
Unknown to me what He was going to do.
Of what He was planning, I had not a clue.
Pulling each layer off one by one.
In order to make me more like Jesus the Son.
The first layer wasn't so bad.
I saw all the sins that I knew I had.
They were easy to fix, just change the way I talk.
And learn more of how He wanted me to walk.
Reading His Word, and learning again;
How to put aside my life of sin.
But the next layer was pulled which hurt more.
He was getting closer to the core.
Unknown what He would find there.
I simply gave it to Him in prayer.
As another layer was removed, He started to cry;
Pulling this layer brought pain to my Father on High.
And I was crying over the sadness I felt;
The brokenness and all of the guilt.
Past memories that I thought were gone;
But they were buried under layers disguised in a fragrance so
strong.
As onions peel more and more;
And they put tears in our eyes as we get close to the
core;
So my father wept over my pain;
Giving me a balm of comfort and strength to sustain.
"NO MORE LAYERS!" I would scream.

As he continued to peel them off of me.
"I'll have nothing left my Lord, what will I do?
I'll be nothing but a worthless core to you.
" But He just said "Trust me,"
And continued to peel I was sure He was blinded to my
pain that was so real.

Year after year I shrunk more and more;
Until all that was left of this onion was a core.
It was then that I began to understand;
As the Lord embraced me in His loving hand.
He said, now and only now can you be;
The creation that will minister before me.
Clothed with the righteousness only from above;
Gone are your layers of self so you can be filled
with my love.
He took my layers of sin, hurt and pain;
And clothed me with love, truth and mercy in His name.
Yes, we are all onions, learning with each day;
How to overcome as each layer is taken away.
Some layers tear and pull at our heart;
While others grieve us to our innermost part.
But we are nothing but an ugly onion without Christ.
Layers upon layers of pride, sin and strife.
Only God can take those layers away.
And clothe us with His righteousness in that final day.

Though i'm a atheist, i find this rather meaningful....

Well, i suddenly became indecisive. I was walking home, when i saw a key dangling on my block letter box. I took it out, wanting to return it back to the owner, but upon hesitation, i put the key back into the letter box.
Reason was being of those people would want to trick people out of their kindness. Like, for instance, returning a wallet to the owner might instead be accused of stealing money from it. You never know what will happen to you....

Maybe you are now cursing me for being such an unhelpful person.....it just went against my integrity, i always lend a helping hand, and now, too 'hum chee' to help.......
If this society is made up mainly of my mindset, then we are far from being a 'yu ya she hui'....Blimey, why am i like this?

Too introspective? hahaha.......What say you?

Did not really blog for quite some time. Tomorrow mom will be coming back from Hong Kong. Days really passed so fast, everyday is so rountine. Hmm, i want to do something different, just a little different.

Teacher scolded my class today for not spending time doing TYS in class but to talk non-stop during pre-lesson period. Well, sometimes i think the 5 to 10minutes during that time to do TYS is rather redundant. Imagine, doing only 1 or 2 questions only, but then, looking at the big picture, after a long time, the 5 to 10minutes would sounds a great deal, and might even help somehow.......

That's me, not looking at the big picture...haiz...

Well, i got some comments about the presidential elections, Taiwan got so chaotic, and the Kerry and Bush fight makes America quite topsy-turvy. The results are just that who will be leading for the next 2years or so. Normally, election separates the country into two, divided loyalties, leading to riots, unsatisfied citizens, and an unstable country. These problems are inevitable, but then an election is, nevertheless important. Maybe that not so much of elections take place at the same time. Very chaotic world. Stupid people!

Don't you ever think that here you are, struggling with your life, and maybe one uneventful day, a bomb shattered you, and then you are gone. Won't you regret that you did not grasp fully of your life?
Maybe you had thought about it, but then did you try to change your lifestyle, and make things more easy? Sometimes, our masochistic work attitude can't be easily taken away. It's more of a habit. To torture yourself and not appreciating life.
Maybe you think, the probabilities of terrorist attacks to land on you is just so so so minute. The mindset "it won't happen to me" got to change somehow i think...

Talking so much, and thinking so much, will i make an effort to change? I doubt so...see, the ironies of mankind!

Hi all, just to share with you all my experiences in
the 'high 5' selection camp. Firstly, I will introduce
what is the award is all about, and how you are
legible to qualify for it, and etc.

High 5, means you need to be 'High' (strive) in CIP,
'high' in academic studies, 'high' in external
commitments, 'high' in CCA, 'high' in leadership
skills. There will be an applicant form for you to
write down all your contributions, after getting
through this round successfully, they will select you
to enter for their interview, followed by a Selection
camp.

Okay, now about the camp. IMHO, I felt I wasn't really
outstanding at all in the camp, there were a lot more
outspoken, more vocal, more knowledgeable, student
leaders with excellence leadership skills around.
Everyone has their own specialties and uniqueness, but
work towards a common goal—striving for excellence.
There were 4 people from Beatty who eventually got
into the Selection camp. (Great right?)

We played team-bonding games but perhaps a little
tougher than the Beaver camp we had last year. The
objectives are of relevance to leadership, and
cohesion of the team. Wonder why though the games were
somewhat similar, the lesson learnt was so much more
fruitful and enriching? It's because we had a
wonderful debrief session at the end of every event,
which the facilitators told us our mistakes explicitly
and we, ourselves, voiced out upon what we learnt
during the game session.

We stayed in NACLI, with facilities like hot showers,
air-conditioned rooms, beds, lockers, etc. It was
rather luxurious, but it was cleverly balanced by the
activities carried out which brought us out of the
comfort zone and into the unknowns.

In the camp, the stark difference between the good and
the better and the best were so great. It was only
after this camp that I knew that some other people
(need not be scouts) had fallen into a deep abyss of
arrogance and overconfidence as they think they are
good enough. What I meant to say was that a lot of
people are just living in their own well, looking at
the small sky, not exposing themselves.

This camp served as a prompt to me that I'm not living
in a world of my own, nor that my leadership skills
revolve only in scouts and in school. I think this
camp, apart from through all those very very 'siong'
camps I had been through before as an ambassador or
localized camps, this was the first and only camp I
experienced a huge influx of emotions that sat a
lingering feeling in my heart. Yes, something is
wrong. Is it the realization of the cruel fact that
I'm not good enough? Is it because of post event
syndrome? Is it because of my incompetence?

Now, I know you might not believe what I said, but
sadly it's true. I'm good, but they are better; they
are better, but there are the best. So wake up guys,
do you think you all are compatible enough to face the
challenges of the ever-changing society? Even with
opportunities given to you to spur for greater
heights, but you rather forsake it. Isn't it a pity?
It's obviously pathetic, you guys don't know how hard
chances come by. And it is your rightful duty to
accept whatever duties or responsibilities entrust in
your hands. Wake up your idea guys, you need to move
on, no matter what, and continue climbing the ladder
to excellence.

How far is far, how high is high, you will never know
until you try...


I wrote this when i just came back from the camp, during the wee hours of the night...

Extroverted (E) 70.83% Introverted (I) 29.17% Realistic (S) 70.97% Imaginative (N) 29.03% Intellectual (T) 60.71% Emotional (F) 39.29% Organized (J) 62.86% Easygoing (P) 37.14% Your type is: ESTJ You are an Administrator, possible professions include - government employee, pharmaceutical sales, auditor, computer analyst, technical trainer, project manager, officer manager, factory supervisor, credit analyst, electrical engineer, stockbroker, regulatory compliance officer, chief information officer, construction worker, general contractor, paralegal, industrial engineer, budget analyst, data base manager, funeral director, cook, security guard, dentist.

Take Free Career Inventory Personality Test
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My camp ended yesterday. They were so many people who were so much more vocal, more outstanding, more outspoken student leaders with excellent leadership qualities around.

Had quite a massive influx of emotions after this camp though. Maybe suffering from Post Event Syndrome...=(

Once back, i'd to attend to so much of scouts matters which was left undone. More stress. And my homeworks! Yet to be done....

Tomorrow school will start, well, i hope i have another day of rest. Such meagre rest isn't enough!!! I'm sick...

I'm attending for my 'High 5' awad Selection camp tomorrow...Well, i don't really know how i would fare in the camp..........I will come back three days later...An SMS of good luck would be appreciated...hahaha...=)


One of my junior just sent me a SMS saying about he will be having tuition, and therefore not able to attend part of the course. Certainly, this course was made knwon long time ago, and he have had ample days to approach me!

So, my reply was "i won't help you, make your own decision, i will respect it ultimately."

Then, he asked again, "i don't get what you mean?" Followed by him going online and putting question marks on our conversation, which i responded once and ignored.

Now, his mother SMSed me, asking me to advise her son. Well, i feel it was better for her son to just come out with a solution, or somehow makes his own decision. So, i responded once again "there are only 2 choices: First, go for your tuition then join the group for the course. Or postpone your tuition and go for the course." (If i were to choose for him, i would certainly choose the latter, right? Then, what's for asking me?)
Well, i concluded by saying i would respect his decision......

I don't really know what i'm did was right, or perhaps by getting the kid to think through this incident................

Quite an unfruitful day. I attended 1.5hr English supplementary lesson and 2hr biology practical lesson. Both were equally boring. Such holiday english lesson is normally useless. Rather than going through a comprehension passage, i prefer the teacher giving us back our answer booklets and let us practice on our own. While, on the other hand, Biology practical is always a race against time. A significant 30minutes delay, before i could finish all our experiments, was indeed idiotic. Why not the teacher extend the lesson time beforehand? Futhermore, i'm among the first few whom completed the practicals......

So much whining about my lessons today...Well, i don't really know why, i began to feel pessimistic about myself these days. Not because of studies, not because of stress, not because of people...My previous self was to stand above the crowd, but now, gradually, i started to blend in the jostling crowds around me, enjoying the anonymity. Well, it doesn't make you feel lowly of yourself, it won't make you think highly of yourself, but you are just an average being, with average capibilities. Nah, i might not like this, i don't want to be just normal, nor i want to be really abnormal. Nah, paradoxing myself...

On a lighter note, the straits times today wrote an rather interesting and funny(?) article on '1/3 teenagers had sex before.' It made quite a laughter though, i think this is serious, very serious. Imagine in a class of 30, 10 people had sex before. Then, count the amount of students in your class then divide it by 3...Imagine, 1/3 of your friends or classmates had done that before! A mother with 3 kids, bound to have a kid who had sex before! Wahhh, it's scary, isn't it??? Then, the government would sure take precaution, announcing an emergency!

So, i come to a conclusion that The Straits Times newspaper article ain't really accurate. A cruel accusation on Singapore Teenagers! But then, S'pore teens are also getting from bad to worse to worst. The saying goes "spare the rod, spoil the child", so parents don't hesistate to spank kids, let them suffer what you all suffered from the hard rottans of your drunken father, but for a good cause...*evil laughs*

What the hell? i just typed quite abit of my post and everything went blank. Heaven isn't on my side. RAther pissed off today. Arghh, never mind, won't want to talk about it

Hey, i'm almost dead. First day of Job Week done...
Got the highest earnings for the day...
Thinking of working only for 2 days, so that i got ample time for my pressing homeworks and remedials...
Life isn't really good nowadays...

Someone volunteers to help me do my work? =)
Will be greatly appreciated...

Well, IMHO, i believe that people whom stay in a 2,3 or 4 room flats are generally more generous that those in terrace houses, and bigger apartments. Wonder why...
Perhaps, i think that people who live in smaller houses experience the pains of being 'poor' (well, not really to the extent of poor, but maybe a little worst than the rest?) before, therefore turning them to being more generous...

Trip for today

I left with 7 people in the morning, due to some lame arrangements for the PLs to bring a group of boys and making them work together. "Someone" called me last night and discussed of this big plan, and i told him it was not at all feasible. But still, he did not heed my advice and continued with his plan. Coming back, they (my allocated group members) brought me to a ULU place in Yio Chu Kang (They claimed).

It was then i called Razak (HQ Senior Executive) to check out with him when is the briefing for a 'Hobby Day' event participated by my boys. He just said "I'm coming down now, wait for me." God wasn't with me, he said that the briefing will start at 15minutes later. I hastily called up TIC, he still asked me to take a bus all the way to Healthzone from my ULU place. (Would take 1hour). So, i flagged down a taxi and went straight there.

The taxi driver is an Ah pek. One only thing that made me uneasy wasn't because i'm scared i'm late coz' i knew i would =P ,but Ah pek's meter jumped very fast. It soared just after a 20min ride, it ammounted to $11.90.

I'm flabbergasted by the response of the turnout for the briefing. Only three pathetic souls! The rest just couldn't make it. What a real joke...I knew i shouldn't have come.

So i landed up in Boon Keng somehow, and got back to work. So after much toiling, i made quite a 'okie' sum of money...(No time to elaborate)

Lucky thing was that i worked with only two other guys, and the rest suffered alot. Thanks to the stupid 'someone' who initiated such lame groupings. Well, he should have listened to me, though i'm younger tha him.

I'm back again, for a while...
So many things for me to do, i yearned for the blissful life of my early sececondary days...
Soon, the hols coming, and i need to take up 6 days for both my job week and 'high-5' camp...

I'm tired. Very tired...
Maybe i should do some planning for my studies...
Perhaps to stress myself more that i don't have much time...

Wanted to write something interesting, but then, i lost my stream of thoughts...
Old liaoz...

Hey, i'm back! Taking a breather after some meagre preparation for my 'high-five' youth award interview tomorrow. Well, i'm very very stressed these few days, not able to complete my homeworks, and my overnight hike, which will take place this weekend, wasn't planned yet. And well, the hike clashes with my interview.

If you think it's over, well you are wrong! 1 of my hike partner was hospitalised after vomiting blood (Too stress?) and 2 other guys fell sick (Too stress?). So left with me and Herry. Comissioner said we can't go as a team anymore, but to split up and go with other schools. Damn it. That's the worst that could happen, the chances of passing dropped from 6% to 1%.

I'm still blurred about what's going on. I don't know what to do, and don't know how to react. How to go for an interview after walking around Singapore with a heavy rucksack? Which school am i going with for the hike?

I misplaced my shoes somewhere in school, i searched the whole area but to no avail. So i assumed it is in the scouts den. Not only this, i also found out that my Army Bag was accidentally dropped down upon airing it, and subsequently got stolen from passer-by.

So, how am i going for a hike without my Army Bag? I'm a poor guy, so how would i do without my shoes? When would i complete my homework? The anxiety of the hike, the anxiety of the interview ( I know i mustn't screw it up )..........

It seemed like no one is helping me out, no one to console me, no one to tellme what to do, at least a hint... But no, my father kept asking me to search for my shoes, not caring for my tests after my cirriculum time. TIC don't even help me with my hike.

Big thanks to Mrs Goh for telling me some tips about the interview (In fact, it only made me more nervous), and also big thanks to Dennis who helped me with the buying of food for the hike and planning of the map (which i don't need after combining with another school).

What the hell? Heart so heavy! I really need help!

*p/s: I wrote this upon waiting for TIC's call...so no procrastination on my part kay?

Eco-traitor

Three decades ago, Patrick Moore helped found Greenpeace. Today he promotes nuclear energy and genetically modified foods - and swears he's still fighting to save the planet. Impressive huh?

Read more...

It's first of March! Got back a few papers today.

Additional Maths14/15
Elementary Maths 11/15
P Physics 25/30

Expect to get perfect score for AM, so that can at least have a 100 in my semester report. Students love 3 digit-number. But darn it, i forgot what it meant by dimension, so one mark into drain...

EM was totally a bluff, i can't accept the fact that i passed, coz' i did not bother to study for it. Well, i guilty of regarding it as an inferior subject last time, perhaps not now. *heh heh*

Physics was the same, i spent less than an hour before scooting off into dreamland...And yet i scored so well. Wahahaha, maybe coz' the paper is easy. All careless mistakes, darn!

Today's comprehension test was relatively easy, except for the summary. I wrote points which wasn't elaborated...Own words substitutions were quite little. Oh well, the more i think of it, imaginating the disgusted look on the teacher's face, i knew i would fail instantly...And if my summary fail, then maybe i will just land up with a C....Hmm, maybe i'm wrong to say the comprehension passage was easy......=(

I struggled through a topic in the Chemistry TYS which i promised myself 'die die' also must finish by today...I regretted procrastinating yesterday, wasting precious time playing my guitar...Paid a price, Urgh!

And yesh, before i forget, tomorrow my Sec2s will be sitting for my Scout Standard Test!!! 3/4 failed for my Tenderfoot test last year. I want more to fail! *Evil laughs* Well, i know a test is not about making pupils fail...i'm no sadist. But setting a difficult test had its advantages too! Like knowing more "out of the content" knowledge and get used to such tough questions...