'O' level result was released yesterday. It did indeed gave me a shock when a girl from Bukit Panjang Secondary School got 11 distinction! Did it happened in history?
Maybe this girl had proven that a neighbourhood school isn't that bad afterall.

Remember the damned case of a Raffles Girls School student going 'steady' with a guy in neighbourhood school. People claimed that prestigious schools belong to the elites, while neighbourhood schools belong to the lower caste...
I visited the the discussion group about this topic, and people do think in that way! Of course the minority differs...

I don't much of a say though...But knowing and mixing with people, regardless of race, religion, rank, academic performances, will ultimately do you good. You get to learn more, see more, and experience more....

Well, i do believe that even in the school i am, there are people who won't want to interact with those of different streams. They limit themselves to mixing with the cream. Well, there are of course some people who belong to the worst, but yet act like they are above the building.

Ar, so much about this topic...talk about something light...

Well, sometimes when i threw a piece of paper, taht is not 'utilised' fully, i do feel the ache in my heart. Some people, like my brother, would use tissues so lavishly even without a serious need. But then, i don't feel the tinge when i switch on my computer for such a long time, without an urgent need.

Arghh...i'm paradoxing myself...

I met Kenny the last time near the supermarket, and now i met Anand at the same spot where i met Kenny. What a coincidence. We gasped at those tree-cutters hacking branches and dumping them on the perch and it laid precariously on the edge of the carpark.

Common test is over, not really confident this time. Two more days to March......

Heart of Crystal


What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hey. I did something really bad today. The guilt level indeed risen to the peak...why, why didn't i look at the whiteboard early in the morning....why, why he would do that for me?

There must be a reason, maybe he wanted me to learn to be a more responsible guy? He wanted the class to know the consequences? Reverse psychology?

It indeed affected me a hell lot...Maybe i should just opologise...but then, i got a feeling it isn't the right way out...opologising isn't everything...it's just mouth works...

Getting over it......
(Maybe i will try not to post depressive stuffs, maybe unless the superlatives)

Samuel Ullman's "Youth"

Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life.

Youth means a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity of the appetite, for adventure over the love of ease. This often exists in a man of sixty more than a boy of twenty. Nobody grows old merely by a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals.

Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, fear, self-distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to dust.

Whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every human being's heart the lure of wonder, the unfailing child-like appetite of what's next, and the joy of the game of living. In the center of your heart and my heart there is a wireless station; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, courage and power from men and from the Infinite, so long are you young.

When the aerials are down, and your spirit is covered with snows of cynicism and the ice of pessimism, then you are grown old, even at twenty, but as long as your aerials are up, to catch the waves of optimism, there is hope you may die young at eighty.

These words, written by Samuel Ullman of Birmingham, Alabama at the age of 70-plus, are credited with inspiring a generation of Japanese citizens, businessmen, and government leaders who were faced with rebuilding their country after World War II. Ullman died in his chosen hometown in 1924 at the age of 84 never knowing that his poetic essay would be quoted by politicians and generals, appear in Dear Abby and Ann Landers columns, and be read and loved by people all across the world.

Moral of the story?

"Women have a mystique, a reputation for never being exactly like they appear, much like the Moon who changes size and shape in relation to the horizon nightly."

Yesh, i agree on that point. Nice statement =)

Quote of the day:
"Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence."

- Robert Frost (copied from Hwee Ling blog -i don't know her-)

Quite long no blog. Suddenly, i just felt like cycling. Felt the wind blowing fast, smashing hard on my face.

Hmm, perhaps i'm too cooped up with all my studies. Stuck at home, no socialising, not even exploring the greens in the park. I need to stop the adrenaline rush, let my throbbing mind have a rest. Some breeze and sea in East Coast should be able to cure my 'home-sickness'.

Do i have the time, as this is my common test week? Nah, doubt so. Need to get some good grades to show my parents before they restrict me from having other activities......life is full of struggles and still struggles and struggles.....should be worst next time. =P

I still haven't call her yet. She asked me to call her like 2 weeks before? And yes, i have not done it. Failure hoh. Just got some strange feelings pulling me back to call. She is a very very very nice girl, and i have no reason why i shouldn't call her. Arghh, crazy me. What the hell? Still feeling a little pinch on the neck upon the valentine's day meet? No, i won't....

Maybe i will just call her tonight! =) (I might procrastinate!)

Quote of the day 2:
"If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets
even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music or
Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all
the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great
streetsweeper who did his job well."

Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968) American Civil Rights Leader

Quote of the day:
"Only when the last tree has died and the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise we can't eat money."

Cree Indian saying

I met Kenny yesterday. He is a scout from Raffles Institution, a clever and handsome chap. A short while, he left, leaving me walking home alone.

Everyday, i will wonder when i can finish my 'Gone with the wind' book (FYI, i read first volume,505pages), when can i finish my TYS'es, when can i finish my long stretch of worksheets and homeworks, etc...

The worst part is that i will start asking myself: Can i continue jogging three times a week? CAn i continue blogger and chatting? Should i still put much involvement in scouting? And the Cans and Shoulds fluttered out my mind...

Life damn stressful, no matter what happen, the sky collapse or the ground shake, i still must complete the 'compulsories'.

Quote:

'O' level is nothing...

It is not the end, it is of course not the beginning. It is not the beginning of the end, but it is the end of the beginning............

Question: Does science tell us what we should like, or does what we like tell us what to study?

Answer:
Does science tell us what we should like? Science, especially geology
and
biology, takes us to places where we incidentally discover conservation
values.

I expect the majority of us were scientists or amateur scientists at
some
point in our careers. Ornithologists or bird watchers, malacologists or
shell collectors, botanists or wild flower lovers.

Marc Imlay researcher

A little bit of both (how's that for de-confusing the situation?).
Science is supposed to be value-free. Because of this, it is possible
for evolutionary psychologists to conclude that rape, a behavior that
everybody agrees is repulsive and unacceptable, is evolutionarily
advantageous. They are not saying that it is "good" or "socially
acceptable" or appealing to them - those are separate issues - just
that
in the narrow context of how biology works, individuals that behaved in
this way in the past have left more offspring, on average, than ones
that didn't. So you can definitely study behavior you detest (a "none
of
the above" category).

Personally, I like herps. This is not a scientific issue, just
something
that happened to me when I was six. Because of it, much of my work
involves herps. In that sense, what I like partially guides what I
study. That work is motivated by non-scientific preferences - likes, if
you will. However, the specific questions I ask and the way I ask them
are (hopefully) unrelated to my personal likes and dislikes, but rather
to scientifically important or tenable questions. Of course, if I
really
hated chasing lizards in the tropics and deserts of the world, I
probably would have found a different line of work.

Another chunk of my work involves invasive species, some of them not
herps. Here, it is science that guides my choice of issues to work on.
Everything I see suggests this is an important issue, therefore worth
working on.

> How many people on the list *do science* and how many do other jobs?
That's another one without an easy answer. I'm at a university, and
much
of what I do is research. But then, I am also involved in control
efforts, albeit to a much lesser extent. Other folks are primarily
applied, but do some research to understand the system they are working
in or monitor the effects of their control efforts. I suspect most of
us
do at least a bit of both.

Gad Perry, Assistant Professor
Dept. of Range, Wildlife and Fisheries Management

I began to know what is addiction in daily life,
I began to know it never pays to be good,
I began to know and realise the hard facts of life,
I began to know my impending dangers,
And so,
i began to cry...

Hey, valentine today! Well, i did not go out today. No date, as usual. A very unproductive day, i only managed to finish my friday's chinese newspaper, Saturday's english chinese newspapers. I done my geography homework, chinese composition, and half of AM worksheet. Too tired, for don't know what reasons.

Well, i believe, going out during valentine should be a good experience, perhaps maybe once in my teengae years, that should be fun! Teenagers are fun-loving! Yes, but i don't have my chance. So sad...haha

Yes, i know, it's been 5 days since i blogged. Longest hiatus? Muahaha...

First, i would like to do an update for my test results: I got 12/20 for Elementary Maths, the test which i used the wrong grah paper, and 22/25 for Geography test which was relatively simple. Chinese was devastating, i did not learn well enough, i got 73/100.

I slept at around 2.30am for the last two nights just to complete my 'high 5' youth award submission. Yesterday night, i had the joy of having a companion to accompany me through my night doing the 'high 5' award. Haha, i eventually finsihed at 2am, and waited for her for a few moments, can't bear the drowsiness and dropped dead on bed. She apparently still had 2 essays to go! Poor thing.

So, i'm sleep deprived, a walking zombie. Yes, i know, i'm not physically strong to endure such sleepless nights, i need sleep! I always love to sleep. I did not study for today's Chemistry test. The tests covered three units, total of 5 chapters. Ridiculous!

The worst thing had happened, instead of having the test in the morning, my Chem teacher put the test immediately after dismissal. I'm already enduring, fighting against my drowsiness and hallucinations, yet here i am, taking the test which i did not even study. My speed isn't optimum, and brain functioning abnormally, i was unable to finish the questions on time, and had to 'tikam' for a question consisting of 7 marks. pathetic isn't it? I pray hard to scrap through this test, and i will be happy.

I went straight after the test to another class for my Add Maths remedial lesson, teacher re-teach logarithm, i almost fell asleep, lesson was boring, fast-paced, i forced myself awake by doing the questions and igoring what the teacher taught, logarithm is relatively simple to me though. =)

Escaped half-way through the lesson with those people visiting Polytechnics, i went straight to Staff Room and did some changes to some of my documents, produce verifications, and then rushed to their office to hand in, just in time!

When i left, i saw a couple standing in the middle of the field, too intriguing not to be seen, they hugged each other for a moment, then before i knew, the girl (not mature enough to be called woman) slapped the guy on his chest, stroke by stroke, with all her strength, i can imagine hearing a resounding 'crack' after each mighty crash on his chest. I pity the man at first, but then the man bent down, grasping his chest, like someone shot into his chest. I mean how much can a woman inflict damage on the man, no matter how 'mighty' it is. Weakling, he should at least do something, hmm...like hug her, forcing her into his arms or something. On the other hand, the girl looked shocked, a dilemma how to salvage this awkward situation, to help him or walk away. Waiting in anticipation to see her reaction, TIC's car sped off the road, i turned around......but blocked by a huge tree.

In the night, i went to Mcdonalds for a meeting, i sat at a side table waiting for TIC and Kumanan (always late). A couple sat 45degrees parallel to me. A teenage coouple, around the same age as me. I was bored, i looked out of the window, saw the reflection of the girl, her eyes were looking towards me! Haha, of course i won't believe, though her boyfriend is not really 'shuai'. (I'm not too!) Then, for the next half hour, can see her glancing in my direction from the reflection from the window, doubt she is looking at the wall, for it's just plain white, nothing special. Our eyes met twice, the stares were quite short, of course,i won't dare to stare long, for i'm not interested in her; she won't stare long, to prevent her boyfriend from noticing. Then i can see her glance over here after a regular time. Let me speak for myself: I'm not 'wu liao' to notice her but i'm bored at that instance, so the only not-so-attractive attration is her and her boyfriend, what else?

I mean how could you look at other people when you have had a boyfriend in the first place. How would the bf feel? Well, nonetheless, it isn't my problem. Haha, tomorrow is valentine. Everywhere couple, feeling a tinge of jealousy is inevitable, coz' i have no date! Haha. Okay, for those who have a stead or valentine's date, enjoy yourself today. Make full use of the day, the air is filled with romance! =)

Happy valentine's day!

Got second for s'pore river raft race today, my friend's team, i did not join. I'm pissed today, shouldn't have gone.

Let's talk about yesterday. I visited Ngee Ann Poly and S'pore Poly with my cousin and her friends. At about 3 something, Bryan called me, said something cropped up, and asked if i could rush down to S'pore River, clarke quay, to register for them. So from Dover sat MRT to raffles place, walked along the S'pore river to riverside point. Dammit, if i had known, i should have sat to Clarke Quay MRT. Upon reaching there, careworn, they already registered for the raft race. All of them very pissed, coz' TIC don't arrange transport for them, coz' of some happenings earlier on.

It's none of my fault, i tried to help, but couldn't. When Bryan called me when i'm in S'pore poly, he sounded so 'du lan' with TIC and accused me for not helping to solve conflict between the leader of the raft race and TIC, though he said i'm not blaming you later on. But then, i'd worked with so many people, and from the tone, i knew he was blaming me. The leader of the raft did not even defend me.

But never mind, i remained silence throughout. I'm angry, but frankly would you come down and help them when they accused you of something you did not do? But well, i did. I don't know why. But no thanks said or whatever.

And after mum at Clarke Quay for half-an-hour, i'm late for my Leader's Council at Ang Mo Kio. I'm the chairperson. The meeting went well, i won't want to elaborate.

In the night, i pondered, should i go down and give those raft members moral support for the race since they are so discouraged and pissed. Should i continue helping them? Around 00.30, i decided to make a trip there, motive was to be a middleman between the two parties, to prevent any 'fight' to break out. ( Fight already broken up in Leader's meeting last night) I mean TIC isn't really wrong for not caring for the leader of the raft pissed TIC first, and if Bryan continue argueing on, he won't win, disastrous consequences.

I SMSed one of my friend to accompany me, but apparently she fell asleep after my third SMS reply. So i went alone.

Woke up at 5.30, no return SMS, woke up at 7.20, get prepared to go to Clarke Quay. I reached there around 8.40am, they were already there. Met TIC and 'guy 1' together, 'guy 1' said some disturbing things and pissed me off, thinking that their damned raft would not win. It's an insulting remark, and he, being a leader should not say such F***ing thing. Well, at that time, i retained my coolness.

Before the raft race, half an hour before, while the raft members are getting ready, i helped them take care of their bags, under the hot baking sun. Never mind, their race started, they won, they returned, practically ignoring me, celebrating on their own. I mean i'm a guest, you know, their other group members who are not in the raft should be the one taking care of their bags and not me! god-dammit. Never mind, i helped them ask TIC to arrange the transport of the raft back to school (Bryan and TIC bet, if they won they will bring the raft back, or else dismantle and dump it away.) TIC eat his own words by not wanting to take it back. I mean how could he do this? Outrageous! dammit!

After the race, they went over to the prize presentation, leaving me there looking after those damned bags. Sitting alone in the sorching sun, looking like an idiot was enough to reach my boiling point. 'Guy 2' came over and asked me why i don't want to join the prize presentation, i gave my reason, and he said:"Ohh, okay, then i go le." Dammit, seeing me tormented for around an hour already, still just leave me in the lurch. He should have the damned courtesy to ask. 'Guy 2' is the guy whom i called last night inviting over for the thingy.

A while later, Bryan called, asked me to carry ALL the bags to the raft and ask me to WAIT there. A guest doing a servant's work. God-dammit! SO i obeyed and sat by the raft, seeing people walking past, prize winners taking pictures.

Soon, TIC and 'Guy 1' saw me and came over. 'Guy 1' said "if i joined interschool rafting competition instead of the open category, i also will have a high chance of winning", i shook my head, and said impolitely, "lose means lose, don't talk so much." I mean why must you bluff yourself you are as good as the winners, though u 'f'ingly know you ain't as good.

They saw my pissed off face, asked me why, and of course i remained quiet, not caring what they say. Soon the rest returned, took the bags and just left, leaving my bag on the soil. Dammit, i took care of all your bags, and you don't even give a damn for my bag.

Wanted to sit MRT and return home, but then after much perstering from 'Guy 1' and 'Guy 2' to have a ride on TIC's car. I don't wanna shout at them, i gave in. In the car, 'Guy 3' called. He said "Hey, you know they won in the raft race?"

"Of course, i was there. Anything else?"

"I hope you are not disappointed for them winning......"

"Am i such a person? You know me well enough!" I hung up.

Okay, i went off once the car stopped. Went home, Bryan called later, saying thank you for your help. I'm of course happy that at least he made a move to say that, perhaps prompting from other people, i don't know. But is a 'thank you' enough for those i suffered and endured?

I don't know. I don't care, i learnt a lesson too, don't always be a nice guy, people will try to step over you, and maybe later saying 'thank you' for letting him stepping on your head. I'm pissed indeed. Blood boiling, bubbles coming up...Arghh

Hey, i'm back. I top class in Chemistry, 27/30, on the topic stoichiometry. I got full marks for AM test.

Chinese test was disastrous, did not really study hard for it. I don't know why. Yesterday, while studying my 'shou ci', i fell asleep. Asked my brother to wake me up 15minutes later, and well he did, but i did not bother to wake up. So i woke up after an hour of sleep, sat stoned by my bed for perhaps another 15minutes, then jerked abit to study again. I flipped open my book, scanned through the words, and went back sleep again. After i woke up again, i completely forgotten about chinese. yes, my fault!

The combined Scouts and Guides meeting is cancelled. So i have one less agenda to do. I finished setting my theory test for my Sec2s, finished completing the agenda for my Leader's meeting, finished updating everyone about everything. Quite an accomplishment for the day. YaY!

The fruit fly in you

February 3, 2004: Fruit flies are bug eyed and spindly, they love rotten bananas, and, following orders from their pin-sized brains, they can lay hundreds of eggs every day.

We have a lot in common.

Genetically speaking, people and fruit flies are surprisingly alike, explains biologist Sharmila Bhattacharya of NASA's Ames Research Center. "About 61% of known human disease genes have a recognizable match in the genetic code of fruit flies, and 50% of fly protein sequences have mammalian analogues."

That's why fruit flies, known to scientists as Drosophila melanogaster, are commonplace in genetic research labs. They can be good substitutes for people. They reproduce quickly, so that many generations can be studied in a short time, and their genome has been completely mapped. "Drosophila is being used as a genetic model for several human diseases including Parkinson's and Huntington's," notes Bhattacharya................

Chemistry test was kinda easy, on stoichiometry, though i did not study for it. =) Heh heh...

For EM, 3 questions on graphs, can't complete it in time. The reason was bcoz' i bought some cheapo graph papers, which my scale did not fit into page. But then, i lent my friend my graph papers for the test. We stumbled upon that question, laughed sheepishly at each other, as help can't be approahed for the teacher was out of sight. Later that we knew he, the teacher, was sitting beside my that dear friend, too tanned to be seen clearly. Damn! So in the end, i can't finish Question 3, the last question, after decided on drawing the axis outside of the grid box, and stated "The scale can't fit into grid".....Lame huh?

Spent alot of precious time reading 'Gone with the wind", over 100 pages, i believe. The plot too dramatic, the characters so captivating.......i mustn't be tempted to read it in the evening. I need to do revision for my Geography test.

The chilly wind from the Park is gone. But its occassional breeze was always welcoming. I stuck my head out, staring into the park, with two sliding glass window cramped my head. Wonderful feeling. Its stillness was simply nice.

Hmm, maybe i will post something about HQ's blogaka Lonely Ham(no idea why he called himself this--i rather be a sausage) =P. He is currently studying in NUS, chemistry student???. Not sure... Came from SAJC, a nature conservationist. Interesting...Involved in Toddycats, loves cycling...interesting. Very interesting. His earlier post were rather depressing, analytical thoughts. Take a look. A glance is enough to captivate you!

Arghh, tell ya, i did badly for yesterday's orientation. Hm, i flung the whole event, even though it went smeooth. You must be wondering what i'm saying, it made no sense, i know! It's the planning part, you see.

My reliance on other people is strong, whenever there is someone for me to rely on. Maybe i'm just like the civilians in Britian Welfare State, when everyone rely on the govt to provide care for them. Yesh, i don't know why.

I also ought to care about other people feelings; i believe i pissed Bryan off yesterday, by renewing the plan last-minute. Besides that, i flipped alot of things upside down during the day. Is it because of the scolding i got from renewing the plan last minute? No, i hope not, but i'm just unlike myself.

TIC told me before the event begin, "take these scoldings in your stride, think about it, then change for the better." It's a tired cliche, i know i need to do that,and i believe i'm doing that. But i got another feeling which says the otherwise. so, in the end, i'm confused, paradoxing myself.

No pushing of faults, feeling remorse, but why TIC said that sentence?

Truthfully, i only failed one or, say two, before--one i could remember vividly is the National Patrol Camp. This might be my second or third. Yesh, defeat seldom come in my way. My pride and confidence is always high, i achieved alot of things better than those tried before. But now, the trust between the other leaders and me fell.
Maybe because that is why TIC said the sentence to me...........

The leader's meeting was bad, of course, i had trashings the whole while. Not that i don' like it, but humans don't like scoldings right? Haha...

After the meeting, i went out with TIC and Kumanan, TIc told me in the car, "hey boy, you are different, very different from the rest. You can't expect people (the other leaders) to be like you. " nah, i'h not figured out the meaning of this sentence, but it meant something. Something important i must know, he said it before, blog post (Jan 14). I got a different feeling then: how different can they be if they are different?

Well, in the night, i SMS Bryan, giving him an opology. And i'm impressed by his reply: I'm glad that all these happened coz it has made you a better leader that way. Pleasure is all mine. Enhanced my respect for him, haha. Learn the phrase and use that! Haha....

Well, things don't always goes as it is supposed to. Or else, life will be meaningless, it's all these ups and downs that made life interesting and meaningful. Take things in stride, and improve situation and learn from it. And it bring me to my quote of the day...

Quote of the day:
"Life is best lived backwards,
but it must be lived forward."

Whiteboard (4e1)